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Without blinking, I said, “Yes, Bethany. I’m telling the truth and I am not throwing anyone under the bus to protect myself.”“Good. Now, keep going. I don’t think I’ve fully hit on it yet. I have some suspicions, but I need to hear everything.”I told her about the conversations with Scott both in the classroom and during my performance review and then about the problem with Penny the previous night, and finally about how I felt all day Friday, leading to her driving nearly three hours to arrive at my house just before 10:00pm.“Jesus,” she breathed. “Your ego is even more fragile than I thought.”“Huh? Are you back to the sex thing?” I asked.“Yes and no. That was a symptom, not a cause. Both the department head, Doctor Bauer, I think you said his name was, and your professor and boss, Scott, questioned your integrity. And rightly so, I might add. And that, for someone like you who prides themself on integrity and usually is the model for everyone in that regard, was a cut to the quick.. Feelings I had no experience with, feelings I couldn’t decipher.I struggled to get words out of my mouth. I only succeeded in groaning.In my defence, it was a loud groan.Cat looked at me with concern. “Are you okay?”I nodded, and tried to speak. The groan remotely resembled a word this time.She looked at me like I was going crazy before breaking into a relieved smile. “Are you thirsty?”I nodded rather than embarrass myself with another attempt to speak. The nod was weak, but good enough to spur her into action.She left; an action I promptly chose to dislike. I enjoyed her touch and I wanted to feel it again.Cathy returned with a pitcher, helped me up, and held the water to my lips. I drank every drop. The liquid did more than sate my thirst, it relieved the roughness in my throat. My voice was still coarse as I struggled to get it out. “Do you know what happened?”Cat shook her head, putting the pitcher on the ground and embracing me again. I wanted to think, to escape the prison, to.
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